You don’t always need your calendar
It seems like it comes back to the same things when I'm working with my fabulous ADHD coaching clients. Silly things. Like calendars.
I have a wonderful coaching group that has been together for a long time now. We started together working in a targeted way on using calendars and also task lists.
The group noticed recently that several of them are in huge transitions right now. And that they don't always use their lists and calendars. So we talked about this: that's OK.
Here are some times to let go of the lists:
- When looking at the list is only stressful, reminding you of what you can't do right now.
- When looking at your list or planner doesn't help you plan, but you do get caught up in (or hyperfocused on) how to "fix" your schedule or plan or to do list so your life will be "all better."
- When you know what you have to do today, and you know that these are honestly the only things you should be focused on. This isn't about ignoring the other stuff voluntarily; this is about survival mode, crisis mode, or self-care when the basics are already more than a full plate.
And some things that can help in these scenarios:
- You can put stuff on your big to do list that you want to come back to later, if, and only if, that is a good way for you to file it away for now.
- Know that you will come back to the lists/planner when it is time. Your time away does not mean you failed.
- You can write really short lists or notes to yourself if you are having trouble remembering in the moment the 1-3 things you need to do. This is not a list review or plan. This is a quick way to avoid forgetting the thing you need to do right now. You can write it on your phone, a post-it, or your hand.
As always, remember, lists and calendars and planners and such are tools. Tools are supposed to make things easier, not harder.