ADHD and difficulty making friends

I have been reading a really long discussion thread on about the difficulty people (ok, in this case women) with adhd feel they have making friends. It reminded me of discussions I have had with coaching clients over the years and with the things I have learned myself about this topic. I wanted to note a few of these. I will start with one point today:

#1 People with ADHD seem to have difficulty learning about/remember the different phases of getting to know people. Once in a while, you might come across someone with whom it just clicks immediately and presto, you are bestest chums. But with most people, getting to know them is somewhat like dating; first you learn a bit about each other, and see if there is friend chemistry, if there is anything in common, and from there, what kind of connection would you like to have? Are there activities or interests in common? What kind of time do you want to spend with this person or is it just nice talking to them at first? Just as in project planning and other areas, it is like people with ADHD forget about the different phases involved and need to consciously break them down.

More in the next post…