When My Brain Won’t Choose

Today is one of those days when I can't choose which step to take
next. This morning I was trying to figure out whether to go to my local
coffee shop before or after a midday appointment. (I concentrate really
well on some kinds of work in a coffee shop instead of my home office.)
The issue, really, is that "figuring out" doesn't always work. I didn't
need to figure anything out. I knew the reasons one way and the other,
and I also didn't care all that much about it. My head was kind of
spinning in tiny circles, thinking through the options. I wasn't
worried. I wasn't ruminating. I just couldn't flip that switch. And
that unflippable switch is exactly what ADHD is about.

How did
I solve it today? I noticed it was happening. I noticed what my mind
was doing. I checked in with myself and noticed I was pretty darned
tired, physically, and hungry. So I made something to eat, a cup of
tea, and put my feet up, and rested for a while.  It's been hard to
learn to trust my need to do that- because it means letting go of the
decision attempts, the plans for that moment or day, and putting
something else (myself) first. But here I am, a few hours later, rested
and more able to concentrate, writing at the coffee shop.