There is no perfect system for ADHD and a changing world
It took a pretty wise friend to ask me how I deal with ALL THAT STIMULATION from raising my super high-energy, fairly high-needs, young children. It took wisdom about ADHD, about balance, and about me.
But this isn't really about parenting. It is about the fact that I don't want to go to the coffee shop anymore to work or write, for example, and it used to be my go-to strategy to get some focused review and writing time. And when the kids are off to school, sometimes I don't want to do anything at all. That's because I have used up my quota, or filled my need, for sensory input and stimulation!
I am ready to recharge, I want quiet! I don't want people around me necessarily for background noise or added interest. Those are things that usually help me focus, get out of my head, and get me into flow. But "usually" has gone and changed on me, because my life has changed quite a bit.
This is exactly why I tell my clients that there isn't a "perfect" system or structure that will always work for them necessarily. There might be. But they might need to build in a sense of flexibility- that whatever is working right now is working for now, and when it stops working, it might be time to tweak it, reboot it, or see if it doesn't match their situation any more.
They may develop multiple options for systems depending on the environment. They will forget, as I do, that they might need to just clean out the file drawer/bin/inbox/system and keep going. They will forget that the file drawer may not be necessary any more because of all kinds of other changes. They will forget how much has changed.
The aim is to then remember. And to adjust, and get curious once again about what will work now. The aim is to avoid spending too much energy being upset that the old isn't working right now, and move on into the new.
So this morning, when I wondered why I wasn't jumping right into work in the hour I had open before a client, I had to remember I needed something else. I just needed quiet and decompression time first, without trying to get my mind engaged in the next thing. And then give myself permission to take that time, and know that I will come back around to it.
Jul 25, 2013 @ 18:12:50
Becca,
Thanks so much for sharing your wise insights! While I have often had to remind myself that life is not stagnant (change is one thing that is inevitable) it is so nice to see it verbalized onto paper.
It helps me to know that others have some of the very same struggles. It’s like the V8 commercial; why didn’t I think of that! Some of the most simplistic actions escape me at times.
Because each of us is uniquely individual, our ADD experiences and how they impact our lives are also uniquely individual. But our shared experience and the willingness to share these experiences with others has been such a tremendous help and encouragement for my personal journey.
Thanks for the important reminder that things don’t always stay the same and that new methods shouldn’t be feared. Sometimes change is needed to better serve the landscape of our personal life.
And thanks for sharing how this played out personally for you!