Well-Oiled Parts?
Recently I posted about structure and the need for flexibility. The thing is, I have a lot to say about this matter.
What I want to tell you about this today is just that there is a lot to say about structure and inattentive issues; about the need for structure and the failing of structure. Rather than cover it all here, I’d like to open up the topic for future elaboration.
What it gets down to is that the books all say we need structure. Structure makes the disarray of an ADHD-inhabited life, um, well-oiled? Okay, I think well-scaffolded is a better analogy. But applying structure willy-nilly can make life feel like a pile of disassembled parts, (though well-oiled and squeak-free parts, if you are to believe my analogy).
Structure and routine are good for adults with ADHD. Good for children with ADHD. By the way, they are good for newborn babies too apparently! That’s what the books say. Some of these books are right or well-thought out or useful. But some of this is lacking the nuance that the hyperthinking brain requires…
…And creates. That’s part of the issue. If you think fast/a lot/analytically and intelligently, you already know that you can reason your way into/out of, anything. You can do this without realizing you’ve done it. It may or may not be "self-sabotage." Your reasoning may be sound. Sound reasoning is intelligent, but it doesn’t help anyone stick to a routine. Nor does ADHD wiring.
The problem is that all of this thinking into, or out of, the routine you intended to follow, means that you have "failed" to hold to your routine. You came up with perfectly good reasons, not even a stretch at a reason, to not go to bed at "bedtime," exercise, do the to do’s on today’s list, do your chores, get up off the couch. Yet you are left feeling that you have failed once again. Regardless of how good the reasons were; routine doesn’t always take into account your fluctuating energy levels or any other complications.
Inattentive point being:
Setting
a structure up doesn’t stop us from thinking our way out of it;
tricking our way around it; continually thinking about it (and this
isn’t worry, it’s just think) — it doesn’t relax us, it doesn’t make
us able to focus. Unless it’s the right structure.
So that oughta open the topic. What structures have NOT worked for you? Have you experienced structure or routine causing a cascade of thought, rather than keeping you moving along?
Sep 16, 2008 @ 19:13:11
Hi Becca!
Angela here. I just discovered your blog after several months of being very curious of your coaching profession. Love reading your stuff!
Sep 18, 2008 @ 09:08:22
Thanks Angela! *blush*
Send all your friends!
Sep 18, 2008 @ 10:41:29
That structure could cause a cascade of thought is a very interesting point/concept Becca! I am always searching for ways to stay on task and keep up and occasionally find that I have added structures and systems that end up distracting me. Things like my Outlook calendar, email and contact info. I can end up getting sidetracked by adding too many events into my Outlook calendar and then when alarms hit they distract me from doing what I was doing at that time.
Sep 18, 2008 @ 14:22:12
Such an interesting question! I have struggled so much with creating any kind of structure in my life. I crave it and hate it and resent it all at once. Sometimes I hyperfocus on creating structure, but can never maintain it.
I find what I like best is having certain routine things to do when I need a break, but I can’t set a specific time for those things. That seems to work best for a while, after I slowly add one thing at a time.
By biggest challenge is maintaining any structure when the larger structure of my daily life is altered. A change in job duties, working hours, a move – all of those things create exceptions and I do the talk myself into/out of thing. But that adds up to completely destroying the structure I’d created for myself. On a smaller level, just moving from weedays (when I work) to weekends can be difficult for me.