Not enough time
I've been thinking a lot about self-talk lately. Self-talk is one of those coachy terms we use so much I get bored with it and forget about it sometimes. Yet it is also something I forget to use with myself- though a lot less often than I used to.
Maybe what I'm really thinking about is reframing. Another coachy term. Changing the way you look at a situation, finding another perspective or story. And put that together with self-talk: talking to yourself differently about a situation you're in can change how you feel, how you perform, etc.
These are really important tools for people with ADHD because we tend to have a chronic history of a certain kind of story, that other people told us and that we told ourselves: that we aren't trying hard enough, we are failing, that we're lazy, and eventually that there's no point in trying (even though apparently we weren't trying hard enough before.)
When adults with ADHD learn to tell these stories differently to themselves, things tend to improve. It's actually pretty down-to-earth; the reality is you were trying hard, but you were missing key information about how you work, what's working against you, and what you need to do in order to pay attention and get something done. You were also beating yourself up about not trying hard- and that made it harder to do anything at all.
Lately I've been thinking I haven't been getting enough done, for example I haven't been posting enough to my blog (also haven't been exercising enough, among other things.) These are things that I like to do, I value, that feel good and help me keep things running smoothly. So I've been pushing myself to just DO IT ALREADY!
And the backstory in my head is that I haven't been making it enough of a priority. But that is entirely untrue. I care about my work, my writing, and exercise. But there's more going on than that. As soon as I shifted a little I could also start to think differently about how I get things done. The shifts: I do care about this stuff enough. I am working hard enough, I just have other things that I have to do, and intervening factors. I am taking good care of myself under the circumstances.
And then when the weight lifts, I can think about the tiny little things I can do -like writing ideas down for writing or blog topics, for example, when I'm unable to get weekly writing time. And I can start looking for space and time to do little things, take small steps, instead of fighting to get the bigger blocks of time I don't have.