I have memory deficits (as part of my ADHD, and possibly part of my hormonal crap in general.) "In general" being before I was pregnant.
Mommies are supposed to have "mommy brain," that is they’re forgetful. Once the postpartum hormones are equibrilated, this is largely due to sleep deprivation, one would assume. I have the foggy mommy brain, but then I had memory problems before, but it’s definitely a bit different.
I’m not sure if my working memory is better or worse with a little baby. Here’s what I’ve noticed:
- I forget entirely what I did a couple days ago
- I forget what I was saying (writing) as I say it sometimes. It drifts into the cloudy beyond, escaping my articulation.
- I don’t forget why I came into a room as much as I used to.
Here’s what’s better than "before":
- Forgetfulness feels more pleasant. Or less agitating. Thoughts slip away but it doesn’t seem that important.
- I deal well with immediacy in general, and as I’ve remarked before, this is convenient, because baby is all about the importance of that which is in front of me at the moment. Baby is all about the here-and-now. So who cares what I’ve forgotten about? Baby will clue me in if I’ve forgotten something he needs.
- I have a reason our culture understands for my memory deficits. How can I articulate how huge this is? No one blames New Mommy for having Fuzz Brain.It’s such a relief after being frustrated for years at the fact that only older folks were permitted "senior moments." Younger adults are supposed to have fully cooperative recall-on-demand. I’m now in the know: New Mommy is also forgiven, often with an empathetic sigh.
I’ve heard from older folks who have always had memory issues like myself that they’re at an advantage over their peers because they’re more experienced coping with all the name-forgetting and so on. I think I’ve got the same "advantage" going on now too. A little mush-brain? Not such a looming adversary. Just another grey day at the functioning parade.