Here's my holiday wish for you:
I would like you to stop fighting to be better at something that isn't your strength.
You'll have more energy to use for good.
Can the "resolutions." Make your life easier, so you can make life better.
I once had a client who had finally found out why she struggled in school so much after having an in-depth neuropsych assessment. She had trouble processing and producing text in the very way that was required by her field of study.
She, like many people with ADHD, was so used to working harder at studying and many other things, than people around them, without realizing it, that she assumed she just needed to work harder.
In reality she was much happier working with her hands, and working with the visual rather than the textual.
I'm much happier having people in my world who are doing what comes with ease and joy, than having people around me who are struggling and unhappy because of it. I know it sounds all California but it's not. It's more nuts-and-bolts than that. If you're good with nuts and bolts, work with them. If you're not, stop trying to somehow have it be something easy for you.
Now I'm asking myself the same thing I'd wish that you'd ask yourself: what is something that's just not easy for you, that you keep willing yourself to do, to do better, or to do easier? Can you maybe possibly just give it up?
That includes,in inattentive-land, this includes giving up thinking about WHY it is so hard and trying to understand it, and trying to come up with "solutions" to make you stronger in areas that are just difficult for you.
Happy Holidays, folks.